When I sit with my eyes closed and allow space between my mind, my body and what is suffering, there is this subtle realization that everything is changing. Time, objects and emotions are always coming and going, no matter if it seems as though my eyes are seeing the same thing. In deep contemplation I understand that everything I look at will not be here, nor will my eyes even perceive objects one day. It's a frightening reality that we don’t like to think about, yet it is so true. It’s a very natural concept. Before us there were countless others that objectively everything to them stayed the same, yet where are their objects and where are they with their concepts. Gone, all gone. When I use to think about this with my mind and imagination, it was scary. It created a lot of fear, uncertainty and anger. How was I supposed to react or live if I knew everything I knew would change, where would my control of everything go? Who would control life if I didn't?
I never controlled life, I never controlled anything. I was always just an observer of things unfolding. The illusion was thinking or believing I was changing things around me, the only thing I could ever change was my own reactions and inner progress. Self-realization was a process of stripping away all these egoic tendencies and behaviors that were never really me. All this would come and go just as everything around us appears and one day disappears. Everything is always changing.
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